I realize that posts are meant to inspire. To stir~up courage and to spread hope to those who need a little. But truly.... Right now? I want to curl up into a tiny ball,lock myself in my bedroom and cover any orifice of light with wood and barbed wire.
Some days, I my spirit is so carnal. I am only human after all. Don't judge me for feeling defeated and don't tell me that this too is often how my boys feel. This I know. And that just makes it even more sad.
All I want is for our household to be @ peace.
I'm out......
Mar
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Facebook | Marlowe Krueger-Kaufmann
If you are a dreamer come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in!
Come in!
-Shel Silverstein
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in!
Come in!
-Shel Silverstein
Helped my mom decorate her home in Montana this weekend. Riley became really anxious less than 24 hrs into our visit... Screaming and rolling around on the floor yelling "Go home!!!!" ;^(
Poor fella... Brody on the other hand was content watching "The History Channel" whilst chaos reigned! lol...
Cheers to another week in the land of Autism!!!!!
"Weeeeeee"
Mar
Sunday, November 28, 2010
A life less ordinary....: Today is..Sunday.
A life less ordinary....: Today is..Sunday.: "Sunday's.... Oh, Sunday's..... Today we can only hope that B participates unassisted and appropriately in Sunday school and that R will not ..."
Today is..Sunday.
Sunday's.... Oh, Sunday's.....
Today we can only hope that B participates unassisted and appropriately in Sunday school and that R will not roll around the foyer of the Church yelling "This Place is EVIL!!!!!".
Today we can only hope that B participates unassisted and appropriately in Sunday school and that R will not roll around the foyer of the Church yelling "This Place is EVIL!!!!!".
Cheers, to HOPE!!!! <3
Thursday, November 25, 2010
A life less ordinary....: The Perseverance Of a thought." Oh Joyful Obsessio...
A life less ordinary....: The Perseverance Of a thought." Oh Joyful Obsessio...: "Ti's the season to be overwhelmed with the grandeur of LIGHTS,MUSIC,SMELLS,and FAKE SMILES! We've had an interesting season with the boys. ..."
The Perseverance Of a thought." Oh Joyful Obsessions!!!!"
Ti's the season to be overwhelmed with the grandeur of LIGHTS,MUSIC,SMELLS,and FAKE SMILES!
We've had an interesting season with the boys. Now, let me first mention how much I believe my boys are indeed Blessed to have the minds they have. In a television appearance I had some time ago, I mentioned that I felt that Children like mine and I quote..."Are the Great Minds of their generation". A wee bit dramatic for ya? Well, suffice to say.... People seem to think I'm nuts to have this mind set. That somehow it's how my denial manifested... Into dramatic optimism!!!!
It's pretty tough to deny Autism.....Isn't it? It is so incredibly obvious and all consuming.WHY? Because it is a way of being. That's why. It is the Human experience magnified.And, it very much affects the lives of the individual and those who love them. So, denial seems a bit ridiculous.
It's like trying to avoid the 'Pink Elephant ' sitting at your dinner table (That is if you can get that elephant to even sit!lol) C'mon ya'll..... Simmer down now. ;^)
Now, where was I? Right... The season of med changes!!! Through the journey of seemingly endless nights and crippling moments ... We tried the GCF diet, we loaded the boys up on Omega's and DHA. We pumped them with B-12 and everything else you can imagine next to Chelation and Bio Med feedback. Some families are very successful with these therapies. And that is fabulous! However; Our little men found no comfort in these and with R having been know as "THE MOST AGGRESSIVE" child with Autism the Ped's at the Children's Hospital had EVER know we felt helpless and began with the prescribed anti-psychotics... @ the tender age of ... Ready for it? 3yrs. He raged from the time he woke in the morning until well after 11pm. EVERY SINGLE DAY from the time he was 12mos until 4.5yrs of age. He currently is called a "Complex Case" and had extra funding for 2 aides to be with him @ all times in school. We tried the gamut of drugs,,, Risperidone,Mood stabilizers (Anti Seizure Meds),Stimulants,SSRI's,and more Anti-psychotics, Melatonine and when that no longer had effect.. Trazodone for sleep.
He is verbal however; Difficult to understand. He has the BEST sense of humor and can light up a room with his unbelievable smile!!! ;^) In fact this week he kissed me for the very 1st time! It made me weak in the knees!!! He actually kissed my knee BTW. Why the knee?...Who knows. But, it was real. And I reveled in his gaze that seemed to last forever but most likely was only for a second.
In about an hour I have yet another meeting with the Principal about his behaviors and ... "Choice Language" he's been using @ school. The staff claim to "Fear For Their Safety" which pains me. These are wonderful women who truly adore R! The school is doing their best to accommodate him and include him and because I am such mouth piece.. They push the academics with him and he has proven to be quite the little reader and his printing is quite legible. It's thrilling because I got a shwack load of "Eye rolls" whence I told the teacher what my expectations were of not only him but of her as well. ;^) Then I flashed her a smile and gave her some gift certificates to a well known coffee shop!
My boys WILL go to College. They WILL be productive members of society. They WILL find a life partner (If they so choose). They WILL enjoy life!
It all starts right here. Right now. These are the days that fertilize their future. And, I WILL NOT stand back and let things "slide". It's difficult for my boys. Everything is. It always will be. But I believe I was chosen to raise them up to help them fulfill what they are designed and destined to be....
Cheers to a FABULOUS day!!!!!
Mar
We've had an interesting season with the boys. Now, let me first mention how much I believe my boys are indeed Blessed to have the minds they have. In a television appearance I had some time ago, I mentioned that I felt that Children like mine and I quote..."Are the Great Minds of their generation". A wee bit dramatic for ya? Well, suffice to say.... People seem to think I'm nuts to have this mind set. That somehow it's how my denial manifested... Into dramatic optimism!!!!
It's pretty tough to deny Autism.....Isn't it? It is so incredibly obvious and all consuming.WHY? Because it is a way of being. That's why. It is the Human experience magnified.And, it very much affects the lives of the individual and those who love them. So, denial seems a bit ridiculous.
It's like trying to avoid the 'Pink Elephant ' sitting at your dinner table (That is if you can get that elephant to even sit!lol) C'mon ya'll..... Simmer down now. ;^)
Now, where was I? Right... The season of med changes!!! Through the journey of seemingly endless nights and crippling moments ... We tried the GCF diet, we loaded the boys up on Omega's and DHA. We pumped them with B-12 and everything else you can imagine next to Chelation and Bio Med feedback. Some families are very successful with these therapies. And that is fabulous! However; Our little men found no comfort in these and with R having been know as "THE MOST AGGRESSIVE" child with Autism the Ped's at the Children's Hospital had EVER know we felt helpless and began with the prescribed anti-psychotics... @ the tender age of ... Ready for it? 3yrs. He raged from the time he woke in the morning until well after 11pm. EVERY SINGLE DAY from the time he was 12mos until 4.5yrs of age. He currently is called a "Complex Case" and had extra funding for 2 aides to be with him @ all times in school. We tried the gamut of drugs,,, Risperidone,Mood stabilizers (Anti Seizure Meds),Stimulants,SSRI's,and more Anti-psychotics, Melatonine and when that no longer had effect.. Trazodone for sleep.
He is verbal however; Difficult to understand. He has the BEST sense of humor and can light up a room with his unbelievable smile!!! ;^) In fact this week he kissed me for the very 1st time! It made me weak in the knees!!! He actually kissed my knee BTW. Why the knee?...Who knows. But, it was real. And I reveled in his gaze that seemed to last forever but most likely was only for a second.
In about an hour I have yet another meeting with the Principal about his behaviors and ... "Choice Language" he's been using @ school. The staff claim to "Fear For Their Safety" which pains me. These are wonderful women who truly adore R! The school is doing their best to accommodate him and include him and because I am such mouth piece.. They push the academics with him and he has proven to be quite the little reader and his printing is quite legible. It's thrilling because I got a shwack load of "Eye rolls" whence I told the teacher what my expectations were of not only him but of her as well. ;^) Then I flashed her a smile and gave her some gift certificates to a well known coffee shop!
My boys WILL go to College. They WILL be productive members of society. They WILL find a life partner (If they so choose). They WILL enjoy life!
It all starts right here. Right now. These are the days that fertilize their future. And, I WILL NOT stand back and let things "slide". It's difficult for my boys. Everything is. It always will be. But I believe I was chosen to raise them up to help them fulfill what they are designed and destined to be....
Cheers to a FABULOUS day!!!!!
Mar
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
"Good Day"...To those who begot Long~Johns and Quirky Kids!!!
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
This is my very first blog entry so I'll begin with presenting to you a little bit of insight into what life is like raising 2 boys with Autism.
Meet Broderick.. An eccentric pre-teen with zeal for Science. Dx Aspergers @ age 5.5 (...Comorbid ADD/ADHD) We thought perhaps there was a bit of Tourettes "Going On there" but Alas those adorable little "Tics" proved to be his "Stim"....Nice ;^)
Meet Riley.... Imagine living in constant state of agitation. Life assaulting you @ every moment of your waking hours. Your only source of comfort is being in your head and in the presence of your mom. I am his life line to sanity. And as thrilling as that may sound... It bares a sneaking resemblance to being captive in his world.
After all.... A mother who is really a mother is NEVER free.
Maternity is on the face of it and unsociable experience. The selfishness that a woman has learned to stifle or to dissemble where she alone is concerned,blooms freely and unashamed on behalf of her offspring.
CHEERS TO A FABULOUS DAY!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)